The Unknown Feeling

Feelings, one word that creates drastic changes in your life. Last forty eight hours of my life, made me go through a number of them. And all I can say is this--


Felt like we challenged the time,
Yes we could do that,
We reached before the time,
Sitting in bus,
looking out the window, 
a smile formed,
like any notorious kid,
all i thought was a mischief.


So I went back to the best of my memories,
And I drifted to sleep,
found myself engrossed in dreams,
the beautiful dream of me with my family.
Moments later I woke up, made the hasty call,
I didn't know that I could even sleep in the bus!!,
I felt the urge to let him know that I am gonna be home,
Home, where I just wanted to rush,
For first time I wanted to just be there in my room.


Later at night,
Me being notorious, didn't let people sleep,
I talked to him,
And I talked to the best of people in my life,
Yes this was the feeling I went through,
Some moments ago, I wanted to leave NLU,
but being home, I just wanted to be with my friends,
Still I was happy, way too happy!!!


Next morning I woke up,
I helped my mother with her work,
I got ready, and yes I took time to get ready for first time!,
And the 5 hours went like 5 mins,
We had nothing to talk,
but we never sat quite,
I found myself at ease,
This was the much awaited break I needed,
was my sudden realization.


Back to home, was too good,
But now I know the reason, 
Its' the feelings in the heart,
The Unknown feelings which creates mood swings,
The Unknown feelings, I fell in love with,
The Unknown feelings........................ :D

I So WISH.........

On my birthday, people asked me... "hey sweetheart, what do u want?".... and I was blank. What to say what I really want; but then thought this is the place, where I share my weirdest of the thoughts. So why not my wish list.... Somethings I at least want to do once before I die...

1. I wanna ride bicycle (you know I always used to wonder, why can't I ride it... though I know the answer today but I still want to);
2. I fear of swimming, so just want to get over it;
3. I wanna Jump once, real jump, like people do;
4. I want to find and meet Sumi once;
5. I want to get back to my drawing back (in serious manner);
6. I want to own my dream house (which is mine and I can do whatever I want to);
7. I want to go to U.K. once (and if its' on my birthday... it will be awesome!!);
8. I want to achieve whatever my father wants me to but with that I want to achieve what I really want to do with my career...

So you see.... I don't want any material things, but all I want is to do what is impossible for me as per doctors/family/friends for that matter. But if you ask me what I want to have which can be bought then, I will say that I want wind chimes (I love them!!! Especially the one, which have very unique crystal and soft sound), snow globe, white board, punching bag, wristwatch, Jewel box, mugs, etc... One can always think of gifting me a good book (I will say with good font and good quality paper ;) ).

I think this is all I will say for today; for tomorrow never comes!!! :P

Nikita

Memories and Life Decisions!!

Hey all nice- nice readers, come back to earth and read now!!! :P

I am writing this blog on the popular demand of you readers to know me. Earlier I discussed about my life in Pandora Box-part 1. When Lee and somebody else told me to write the blog, I was so traumatized by my circumstances that I wanted to write a blog on CARE and OVERCARE…… but then the thought of hurting too many people rushed through my mind and I decided not to write. Also to be frank I myself was super confused between the two words… there exists a thin line between the two that the person who cares for you so much can’t get to know when the line is crossed.

Through this I am not going to write about myself…. but the story of my friend’s life. I remember when I was in 7^th standard, I was told to change my school to Kapil Gyanpeeth, not too good school but I was senior-most student that time and I had the authority in my hands. There were total 13 students in my class with three girls only, and these girls used to top the class with the first three ranks…. So yaa for us, boys were useless.

Coming to the story of my friend, a friend who exists somewhere in this country, where- no idea. After she left the school, we have been allowed to talk once in two to three years, and that to only she can contact me…. yaa this is becoz… becoz I don’t know!! Her name is Sumedha Kakaria, born on 24^th May 1990.
We were in 7^th std. together… she had a little brother Aditya Kakaria…. he was in 1^st std.!!

She was a very bubbly kid, who could slap any boy, who was bossy, who had a commanding voice, too good in studies, who used to Care for me like anything, she had dreams… lot many… and we decided to fulfill them—each and every bit of it… until this happened…. Her mother died because of some disease… man, she was in 7^th… and then I saw a new Sumi taking birth… she used to be happy before everyone… but with me she was what she was in reality…she had cried her heart out with me… I couldn’t even think what it was to take responsibility at that age…. Not only of your own but your brother and father too….

After 7^th she left, and I came to know that she was made to leave…. By our very own principal of school and I hated her for that…. But then Sumi and I were way too good friends… and we used to talk to each other on phone…. Surely this was not stable… it became so tough that we had to stop talking for her sake… but then she used to call me whenever she could—once in year then in two years and so on… we last time talked in 12^th, before I gave papers for CLAT… and she told me about the man of her life, whom she ll be marrying soon…. I think they are married now… I have no status….

This girl made me learn many things….confidence, to have faith in my self, to take responsibility and to make decisions… decisions that are not meant to hurt anyone… In textbooks there used to be a page on which Gandhi ji’s wordings were written that whenever you feel yourself to be weak, think of the person who is weakest in the world, and then you ll find that you have lot too much…. For me she has been that girl…. She has been my true role model… and she truly deserves to know this….. SHE DOES!!!

And seriously I know you all do miss her!! Our very favorite Sumi :)

Through this blog, I wanted you people to cherish the moments we spent together, becoz surely we have no idea what it ll be when we leave from here… and yes if you have a moment in your life you can totally comment on this blog!!

Nikita

P.S. if you know where this girl is please let me know!!! Because I miss her way too much!! 

The Pandora Box.....!!!

Yeahhh...........Wow!!! I couldn't ever forget that day...my b'day just happened... and it changed my life. I am no more a teenager!!! and moreover I suddenly started living my life the way I always wanted to live....This was in no more than what I had in my arms on 28th Dec'10.....my lil nephew- and as he opened his eyes to me and looked and smiled in my arms, I knew, he is gonna be my lil prince...right now we call him Priyaan..and that what ll be for future too....!! :)

The two things now I want are: 1. to learn playing the piano again! 2. to start my paintings again!! If someone would be able to make me start even any one of this, I know I have achieved all that I wanted!.

So many moments have made me live those thousand of live I always cherished about! The one reason of calling this Pandora Box would be because now on I ll be sharing my life... those little moments I always loved, those which I couldn't ever forget!

My Life is like the stairs...at every step I had a hand before me, to hold me if I fall, to show me the correct path, tho support me, and to be with me from thereon. This was not because they sympathized with me but because they loved me.

I still remember, whenever we used to go anywhere, people would ask my mother "Is she suffering from polio?" and my mom would explain them that no she is not. I used to feel awkward but then with time, I learnt to live with this very fact. Though even today I get hurt sometimes when those little children out there imitate me and I would run away from there. I am a patient of Arthrogryposis, which is born disease, and no one has any fault to it. It just happens and ya its' not genetic. If you want to know more about it- GOOGLE IT!!

Yaa.... Google it...I remember the day I went to Rishabh Sancheti sir (one of the prominent lawyer of taxation, who used to fight from Govt. side....these days in Supreme Court).... he asked me about Jessup and I never heard that word... he simply said- Nikita, if you don't know something, google it, but don't ever say that you don't know it!!... and after that I never said that...!!

Coming back to the past, i have very haphazard pictures but all are very sweet memories- from meeting sachin and kamali in hospital to Cruz, where i got that certificate of being the sweetest and cutest child-from my brother irritating me to my sister loving and protecting me- from me being naughty one or in my family's language NAUTANKI!!! :D

The first six years, i spent in hospital. Two operations a year... so in total 12 operations before I could start walking. I used to be a very bubbly child, especially when my doctor used to tell everyone in the room that I am very brave girl and I don't even get scared of injections, and would ask me, do you sweetie? and I used to move my head in negative and by all this time he would apply another one. I have been very choosy, even for getting those injections, I used to choose who ll do it.. and used to end up calling the doctor himself. Ya! this is how I have been given my medications!.The doctor was smart enough, even while putting that heavy instrument having around 20 needles, he would tingle me on other leg and I would end up having it with smile on lips and tears in eyes! ya I used to cry, sometimes mom used to be sent out, as she used to cry and I used to search for her. That was the time I learnt that yes, only mother can understand the pain, her child goes through.

In Chennai, me and my mom used to stay at a rented house near by the Apollo Hospital.Our tenants were very good... there was an uncle, aunt, di, and bhaiya....I don't remember any of theor faces, but yaa I remember the very sound of aunt telling my mom that she should learn the counting in local language, so that mom can handle the auto persons... who would take more if you are a northern region resident. Bhaiya used to pick me up every evening from my room and would take me upstairs so that I can play.... yaa one game I remember is Chinese checkers!!! :) Di, I just remember that used to play with us... nothing else... and yaa I totally remember the uncle...especially when he used to just move his ears and the rest body, even the face used to be still!! I used to like it... it used to be funny!!! :D

My mom has been very brave... and I salute her for that. Not only this, but when we were back to Rajasthan, I remember, my father got posted outside, and my mom got the whole construction done on her own. I remember that she never said a no to us, but how she has always been more protective to me than my brother and sister. She is very close to my sister and I admit the fact, that I really get jealous when she is with mom and I m told to stay out of the kitchen. Ya, that's there gossip room!! :)

Though I always say that I love my father more... but the truth still remains that she has been my mother and my bond with her has always been stronger... this is something I recently acknowledged when I was going back through my childhood pics.....

MOM & DAD- I love u both!! and if I ever did something wrong, forgive me!!! I ll surely try to wipe those tears out of your eyes forever and forever!!! and this is My PROMISE to You Both!! :)

Nikita

A Fine Start....

Hey....

Those who know me know me very well... those who don't know me can get to know me well! After all I m a Capricorn... born on the 25th Dec!!!! yayy this for people to remember that my birthday is coming!!!! :)

As I m gonna start this blog.... I won't say much about me but about this blog!! My sister always told me one thing that you should do, when you are very sad or you are very happy, is to write about it, at a place where no one knows you!!!

Life: A Quest is such a place I had been searching for!!! There have been lots of such moments I wanted to share somewhere but I couldn't; finally starting with something... I always said one thing to my dear ones that somethings are better when untold or only few people know.... I don't know how right I m in stating this but I believe in this!!!

Life is a quest for me... an expedition to the world of reality!! A place where you do mistakes but after that you are so guilty conscious that you try to correct everything- sometimes you achieve success but sometimes only failure is in your hand....!!! If you are sad... try to search for one reason to be happy and you ll find thousands of such reasons!!!

Well yayy I forgot to mention my name in starting ... so here it is-Nikita... a name that means unconquerable in Russian.... victorious in Greek.... as beautiful as moon in Sanskrit!!! I like things to go as smoothly as the flow of water in ocean..... as peacefully as the moon in sky.... as happily as they can be!!!! Life is given once... why to worry and let it go waste... why not work upon it to have it as the best!! I m not a good writer - I totally agree but I can be is what I m trying!!! With this, I think I can start writing about me!!

My father always says that I should build my life but this is also the time to enjoy the small moments is what I always say!!! I m my father's dearest princess!!! I know my brother and sister always got scolding because of me!! I know I have been a pampering child!!! And I love that!!!

I know that everyone loves me so much so that I never realises the very fact of me being handicap!! But I know even if I m... I don't take it as a weakness to me; this is my strength I m ready to prove at every step!! Once a school principal declined me admission in the school because there were stairs.... and I made it my aim to show him that I m no less and can get what I want even if they won't be teaching me!!! Today I m a 3rd year student in NLU Jodhpur and I m proud of myself for this....!!!

My friends always say this to me, "Nikita, you the luckiest person here".... I totally agree to them that yes I m lucky to have so many friends, so many dear ones, the loved ones in my life!!! What a person need is love to find the quest of life!!!

This what the whole purpose of writing this blog of how I made my way in finding this quest with the love around me!!! Well since I have exams starting from day after tomorrow.. I ll go now!!! but ll be back surely with the best things I can come up!!!

Bye for now

Nikita